remembrance

Because of the sheer amount of time it takes to evolve from singleton to girlfriend to wife to knocked-up to motherhood it's no wonder that some days you realize more than others that you are an entirely different person. A number of things happened this week that reminded me of the girl of the past. Not the emotional selfish party girl but the girl that used to have time for things that made her (me) feel free and happy, things that I could continue learning or improving physically or intellectually.

I think as grown ups we tend to further push the things of the past that we enjoyed and valued under the rug for fear of looking silly, or being perceived as reliving the "glory days" with a roll of the eyes. For fear of our spouses thinking we are stupid and wasting time with an activity that maybe has no "real world" application. So we chug along and fill our days with things that are perceived as more appropriate. Book clubs, Pampered Chef parties and church groups*. These are things that grown women do. These are things I loathe, therefore I can easily be categorized a someone who doesn't want to grow up. What I really am is someone who isn't willing to fake reality.

All this to say that on Wednesday night I will attend my first hip hop dance class and I couldn't be more thrilled. Dancing is something I used to value but deemed myself all of those falsehoods above; too old, inappropriate, not a mom activity. Well, to hell with all that. It will be enough to keep me feeling fit and it's something I truly value and will enjoy doing which will make me happy and a happy woman is a good wife and mother.

* If you love these things you should absolutely do them. However, I do think there are plenty of women that partake in these activities that are really seeking to fill a different void, and I would be one of those women.